Necessary evil
Dear Diary: I’m SO SICK of everyone dumping on me for all the evil. The humans are clearly not bright. If it weren’t for all the evil, there would be a lot of unemployed prison guards. And prison...
View ArticleLuxury my ass
Dear Diary: Today was almost a disaster. It was Jesse’s big entry into Jerusalem, and Larry had booked him a luxury animal (it showed a stallion on the website), but when we got to the rental place,...
View ArticleLong before time
Dear Diary, Woke up this morning extremely bored again. Feel like I have to start some kind of project to get me out of bed. Watching way too much TV. Thinking of creating large matter-based object...
View ArticleJune 6, 1944
Dear Diary, Woke up this morning, noticed all kinds of ships in the channel. Sent Death down to check it out.
View ArticleHoly Week
Dear Diary, Tough week for Jesus. Sure, Palm Sunday was great — just like homecoming. He returned to the big city, saw all his old buds. And kicking out the money changers was a lot like crushing your...
View ArticleHalf Past Exodus
Dear Diary, Going into the Bush today — and I don’t mean safari. Delivering Ten Commandments to Mo. Spent all day yesterday with Larry and Jesse — coming up with the Top Ten. (NOTE: Larry gives one...
View ArticleGreen Day
Dear Diary, People are always saying “Tomorrow is a new day.” It’s not. That would be wasteful. We use the same old day over and over again, until it starts to fray at the edges. Then we get a new one...
View ArticleThe Happy Meal
Dear Diary, “Last Supper” is a term we never use up here. In the script and in all the rehearsals we called it the “happy meal.” That whole week was depressing enough without referring to that meal as...
View ArticleWhat a friend they had in Jesus
Dear Diary, Jesse had a hard time making friends. He was always accused of being “holier than thou,” or having a “martyr complex.” When he was young, it was easier because he could always fall back on...
View ArticleA bird in the hand
Dear Diary, Got a little obsessed today, but finally resolved something that has been bugging me forever! Did the math and figured out that a bird in the hand is actually worth 2.0137 in the bush....
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